Bumper Car Violence

I figured it out! I've solved the crime problem that has been plaguing humanity since the first person coveted something that wasn't his. Wait till you hear this...

People who are consumed by rage should have round-the-clock access to bumper cars. They'd be granted free admission to their municipal bumper car emporium. Once inside, they would visit a kiosk and answer a few simple questions about their rage. Presto! A dummy sitting in a bumper car would assume the likeness of someone matching the rage criteria.

For example, let's say I want to wipe Jews off the face of the earth. The dummy would have thick black curly hair, a large nose and spectacles. I would then hop in a bumper car near the Jew, press the "start" knob in my death machine and attack the Zionist enemy with full fury. After five minutes of bashing the vehicle and watching my victim helplessly gyrate, I would feel victorious. The urge to kill Jews on every continent would pass, and I might be inclined to sip a cappuccino at a cafe or head straight home to work on my memoirs.

Please consider this simple, yet breakthrough, idea before you put the finishing touches on Earth 2.0. If visiting a municipal bumper car center would not always be practical, you could drop two cars down from heaven, along with a bumper car track, a kiosk and a dummy.

If this works out, you could use the same concept to fulfill positive wishes. I could see a love-starved fella riding with a resemblance of his secret admirer in the same bumper car, going round and round until he fell asleep. Just thinking out loud.