I believe the most rewarding type of comedy is when the humor gradually unfolds. Sure, Three Stooges head-bonking has a certain charm, but you don't really analyze it and share its nuances with friends. Moe simply brings the heads of Larry and Curly forcefully together, and they react as you would expect. Contrast that to Monty Python's brilliant "Lumberjack" skit, in which the singing lumberjack turns from a masculine tree-cutting dynamo to a cross dresser. We are surprised by the end result, despite the lumberjack giving us clues throughout. Does he not confess to going shopping, having buttered scones for tea, and even pressing wild flowers? The slow buildup keeps us enthralled.
I bring up "time release" comedy because it mirrors our understanding of life on earth and the cosmos around us. The first humans did not understand that gravity held their feet to the ground and also caused our planet to orbit the sun. Gradually, we became inquisitive and built ever more powerful devices to study the forces of nature. I have no problem with the slow buildup of knowledge. But why did it take until just a few years ago for text messaging to emerge? Pheidippides wouldn't have had to run from Marathon all the way to Athens to communicate a battlefield victory. If you recall, he dropped dead just after delivering the news. Ouch!
That's just one example. Perhaps a silly one, but in the new world you're designing, what the heck? Roll the dice and see if an accelerated understanding of our world and development of useful gadgets is a good thing. If the answer is Yes, then "time release" comedy probably wouldn't be as funny. Humorous head-bonking will seem like an art.
November 29, 2009
November 25, 2009
Margin for Error
In American football, an offensive lineman flinches and the referee throws a flag for "illegal movement." The lineman's team is backed up 10 yards, or 10% of the entire field of play. What has the world come to when a human being cannot move a neck muscle two inches to the left or right without being admonished in front of 70,000 people -- and millions more watching the televised broadcast?
This is in stark contrast to many other common activities, where the margin for error is much greater. For example, males who stand when they urinate have a generous bowl to accommodate various angles and velocities of their streams. Tying shoelaces has built-in flexibility and ample opportunities to start all over again. I'm just looking for consistency with respect to what society tolerates and what it does not. I thought I'd raise this with you since you're taking a good hard look at the entire spectrum of humanity.
This is in stark contrast to many other common activities, where the margin for error is much greater. For example, males who stand when they urinate have a generous bowl to accommodate various angles and velocities of their streams. Tying shoelaces has built-in flexibility and ample opportunities to start all over again. I'm just looking for consistency with respect to what society tolerates and what it does not. I thought I'd raise this with you since you're taking a good hard look at the entire spectrum of humanity.
November 17, 2009
Complex Coupons
Must it be so complicated to buy consumer goods? This morning, an advertisement for a department store had me titillated with the promise of "50% off and more" on literally thousands of items storewide. My eyes were bulging out of their sockets when they came upon a coupon offering an extra 20% off a single sale price apparel or fine jewelry item.
My world sobered up in a hurry when I read the fine print. Said coupon was useless on Yellow Dot Clearance, Incredible Value merchandise, Bonus Buys, Door Busters and many other items -- including Breast Cancer Awareness merchandise! I put the advertisement aside and turned to a competitor's flyer, where I could get $10 off a purchase of $25 or more, provided I did not choose Everyday Values, Specials, Super Buys, selected Licensed Departments or a few dozen other categories -- including Not Your Daughter's Jeans!
After you destroy all life on our planet and give it a total makeover, I hope that saving money on consumer goods is easier than spelling Massachusetts. Wait a minute: I just thought of something. Maybe you're trying to stop us from shopping in the first place. If so, what a brilliant way of getting your point across!.
My world sobered up in a hurry when I read the fine print. Said coupon was useless on Yellow Dot Clearance, Incredible Value merchandise, Bonus Buys, Door Busters and many other items -- including Breast Cancer Awareness merchandise! I put the advertisement aside and turned to a competitor's flyer, where I could get $10 off a purchase of $25 or more, provided I did not choose Everyday Values, Specials, Super Buys, selected Licensed Departments or a few dozen other categories -- including Not Your Daughter's Jeans!
After you destroy all life on our planet and give it a total makeover, I hope that saving money on consumer goods is easier than spelling Massachusetts. Wait a minute: I just thought of something. Maybe you're trying to stop us from shopping in the first place. If so, what a brilliant way of getting your point across!.
November 10, 2009
Hide the Bad News
If there are newspapers or magazines on Earth 2.0, could you see to it that bad news does not make the front page or the cover? Matter of fact, it would be great if that stuff appeared exclusively on left-hand pages, which take more effort to find. If you care to go a step further, make the editors of the future use smaller type for the bad news than they do for the good news.
To summarize, stories like "Inspector Finds No Problems Whatsoever With City Playgrounds" should appear on a right-hand page, while stories like "Bolsheviks Execute Czar Nicholas II and Family" should appear on a left-hand page in smaller type. How about a smaller type size and a smaller font? For example, Arial Narrow 9 pt. for the bad news vs. Arial 10 pt. for the good news. I'll leave the details up to you.
If there are computers on Earth 2.0, I ask that you make it difficult for us to find bad news. It could be as simple as, "For sorrow and heartbreak, click here." You with me?
To summarize, stories like "Inspector Finds No Problems Whatsoever With City Playgrounds" should appear on a right-hand page, while stories like "Bolsheviks Execute Czar Nicholas II and Family" should appear on a left-hand page in smaller type. How about a smaller type size and a smaller font? For example, Arial Narrow 9 pt. for the bad news vs. Arial 10 pt. for the good news. I'll leave the details up to you.
If there are computers on Earth 2.0, I ask that you make it difficult for us to find bad news. It could be as simple as, "For sorrow and heartbreak, click here." You with me?
November 5, 2009
Round and Round
I'm told that the moon orbits the earth, the earth orbits the sun, and the sun orbits the center of the Milky Way galaxy. On a much tinier level, I'm told that an atom consists of electrons orbiting around a nucleus of protons and neutrons.
If all this is true, it certainly explains why humans always seem to go round in circles and can never finish anything important (like ending poverty or rush hour traffic). It also explains why the 100-meter dash is so thrilling: (1) starting gun, (2) everybody runs in a straight line for 9-10 seconds, (3) the winner breaks the tape. A less thrilling, but equally satisfying, example is walking to your local hardware store, buying a hammer, walking home, and pounding a nail so you can hang your framed Magritte poster. Boom! Mission accomplished.
If you want my opinion (and why wouldn't you, if I was truly created in your image?), I think we're destined for misery as long as we remain out of sync with the fundamental principles of the universe. To be in perfect harmony, humans need to be orbiting one another. I'm not sure how practical this would be. Just thinking out loud here... I see children orbiting their parents throughout the day, and parents orbiting their neighbors (or maybe their parents, or even their supervisors if they work outside the home). Neighborhoods could orbit other neighborhoods, cities could orbit cities, supervisors could orbit supervisors, businesses could orbit businesses, and so forth. Clearly, I'm out of my element here. But I'm sure you can figure it out. That's why we call you God!
If all this is true, it certainly explains why humans always seem to go round in circles and can never finish anything important (like ending poverty or rush hour traffic). It also explains why the 100-meter dash is so thrilling: (1) starting gun, (2) everybody runs in a straight line for 9-10 seconds, (3) the winner breaks the tape. A less thrilling, but equally satisfying, example is walking to your local hardware store, buying a hammer, walking home, and pounding a nail so you can hang your framed Magritte poster. Boom! Mission accomplished.
If you want my opinion (and why wouldn't you, if I was truly created in your image?), I think we're destined for misery as long as we remain out of sync with the fundamental principles of the universe. To be in perfect harmony, humans need to be orbiting one another. I'm not sure how practical this would be. Just thinking out loud here... I see children orbiting their parents throughout the day, and parents orbiting their neighbors (or maybe their parents, or even their supervisors if they work outside the home). Neighborhoods could orbit other neighborhoods, cities could orbit cities, supervisors could orbit supervisors, businesses could orbit businesses, and so forth. Clearly, I'm out of my element here. But I'm sure you can figure it out. That's why we call you God!
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