The Self-Grooming Solution

Ten fingernails and ten toenails require constant attention if we are to successfully integrate into society. The same is true for male facial hair, nose hair and ear hair. Women, meanwhile, keep busy shaving their legs, plucking chin hairs and streamlining eyebrows. This is the price of civilization.

When you redesign the human body for Earth 2.0, would it be a stretch to embed a self-grooming mechanism within all body parts that currently require trimming rituals? Look at the benefits:

• More time to indulge in one’s personal interests – whether it’s practicing magic tricks, writing powerful manifestos for social change, or something in between.
• Instead of purchasing services from barbers, manicurists and nail technicians, we could redirect those dollars to afford more police officers, day care providers, grocery store clerks and Department of Motor Vehicle employees.
• Auto-groomed men and women would help us become a more peaceful race because we’d have one less competitive factor when dating, applying for jobs, etc.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. You can break down a lot more barriers that prevent us from achieving harmony with one another. Competition is best reserved for board games or fencing bouts.