Beer People Play God

Billboard for Miller Lite beer spotted on a Milwaukee City street this morning: "Best Brew for Your Crew." I was outraged! How does the brain trust behind this sign know that Miller Lite is best for my crew? How do they know I even have a crew? If they mean the Milwaukee Brewers baseball team, which is sometimes called "The Brew Crew," I can see a corporate sponsorship tie-in. After all, their home games are played at Miller Park. But even then, it's an assumption conveyed as a certainty.

I hope you're as outraged as I am, for only you could accurately make a blanket statement about which beer would be best for a given crew. Unless the crew in question was polled and the results widely disseminated. This was not indicated on the billboard. Rather, it was presented as a truism. Translation: Miller Lite advertising brain trust = God. If there was an asterisk accompanied by a full justification of the claim, I missed it. I hope asterisks are more prominently displayed on Earth 2.0, by the way.

This billboard is just one more example of free will as runaway freight train. As you design the new human race, please take a closer look at allowing people to appear authoritative when they simply want us to buy something or vote for someone. So many suffer when this happens -- and not just the modestly educated. Geniuses who are in a hurry or otherwise distracted also may accept God-like statements as fact because they will place a low priority on examining the evidence. This is not fair to geniuses or imbeciles, for we are all human beings and deserve to be treated with a modicum of respect.

I don't know why trivialities like this set me off. I guess if I ignored them, I would feel complicit in the crime. It makes me want to avoid beer for the rest of my days. And crews. Perhaps even reading.