Benevolent Leapfrog Program

This happens every day on Earth, to many people… You are driving on a busy street. Just as you approach a traffic light at a major intersection, the light turns red. You are obligated to stop and pretty much do nothing for a minute or two. If you happen to be in a hurry, this seems like an eternity.

When you redesign the human race, please give consideration to my Benevolent Leapfrog Program. If a driver in the above scenario performed an unselfish “good deed” within the previous 24 hours, the person should be allowed to tap the steering wheel twice and – with your approval – fly over the intersection and gently land when it’s safe to do so. To avoid accidents, you should decide precisely where the vehicle lands.

As an alternative to performing an unselfish good deed, the driver must have made three people smile within the past 24 hours. I know what you’re thinking: What’s to stop everybody from pretending to smile all the time, thereby helping one another avoid waiting for red lights to turn green? Well, you will have to ascertain the validity of each smile. I know it’s a lot of busy work, but if you are truly omnipresent, it shouldn’t be an issue. Those who deceptively smile will be brought to justice by finding themselves trailing a student driver on a two-lane street when they’re in a hurry. Or a similar horror of your choosing.