Of APCAs and IRUs

Do you realize that urban outdoor air pollution causes an estimated 1.3 million deaths a year? If we are to believe the World Health Organization, that’s an awful lot of dead people who simply wanted to breathe air in order to continue living. In my high school Literature class, this would have been called a dichotomy. Or a paradox. Maybe both.

As I understand it, humans are responsible for air pollution and its deadly aftermath. However, since this is yet another negative consequence of giving us unrestricted free will, I kindly ask your assistance in righting the ship for Earth 2.0. Each year on a person’s birthday, give them a new Air Pollution Credit Allotment (APCA). Feel free to change the equation, but for a conversation starter, let me suggest this: your current age times the day of the month of your birth divided by the day of the week you were born (1 = Monday, 7 = Sunday). As I write this, my APCA is 163.

If my actions over the course of a year foul the air more than 163 Internationally Recognized Units (IRU), I would have to appear before a tribunal. The tribunal would know how much I polluted because you’d have given them this insight. Duh! I’d be penalized for every IRU over 163. The penalty would vary according to local custom and ability of the culprit to pay – whether in currency or in the form of deeds benefitting the region of the world that I over-polluted.

The ball’s in your court, God!