Why Is It So Hard?

Swans mate for life. So do wolves and French angelfish. Even termites, I'm told. If birds, fish and animals can hook up so easily, why do humans have such a hard time? Are we more picky because we have so many different ways to call attention to ourselves? When choosing a mate, lower life forms do not have to consider one's choice of clothing, hairstyle, cultural preferences, command of table manners, parental lineage or career prospects. They just get right down to business.

Swans may say nothing more than, "Honk when you're ready to mate for life." A typical male wolf probably says, "It's awfully lonely terrorizing an entire countryside. Let's do this together." I'm sure French angelfish do not spend two years dating before asking mom, "Do you think he's right for me?" And I'd be shocked if a termite ever spurns a suitor. She'd have to stop destroying a porch, and what excuse could she possibly give? "You're disgusting! I wouldn't lay your eggs if you wore a straw hat and bow tie."

Do everything in your power to prevent humans of the future from having such complicated and often painful experiences in choosing a mate. Some people actually turn to violence when they cannot successfully mate. Where's the fun in that? There must be a middle ground between simply honking your intentions and spending three hours in front of a mirror before a first date.