Finally! Another dictator who made millions of people suffer for decades is dead. This one stuck around for 42 years, acting like he owned the country over which he dictated. I’m sure life would have been much rosier for his subjects had you put a curse on him whenever you sensed he had evil intentions.
May I suggest that on Earth 2.0, people like Moammar Gadhafi be given migraine headaches every time they think about repressing rights? You just need to rewire the brain circuitry. Instead of left brain/right brain (organization/creativity), design a good brain/bad brain. Thoughts that veer to the dark side would be interrupted by a killer headache, with absolutely no letup for three days. Simple tasks like tying shoes or setting an alarm clock would be a challenge.
Eventually, people would figure this out and try to counteract the migraines by taking a pill or drinking a special potion. These would only intensify the pain. I’m thinking the world would be a much happier place if we had to choose between stirring up trouble and feeling fine. Couldn’t have both.
October 27, 2011
October 19, 2011
Benevolent Leapfrog Program
This happens every day on Earth, to many people… You are driving on a busy street. Just as you approach a traffic light at a major intersection, the light turns red. You are obligated to stop and pretty much do nothing for a minute or two. If you happen to be in a hurry, this seems like an eternity.
When you redesign the human race, please give consideration to my Benevolent Leapfrog Program. If a driver in the above scenario performed an unselfish “good deed” within the previous 24 hours, the person should be allowed to tap the steering wheel twice and – with your approval – fly over the intersection and gently land when it’s safe to do so. To avoid accidents, you should decide precisely where the vehicle lands.
As an alternative to performing an unselfish good deed, the driver must have made three people smile within the past 24 hours. I know what you’re thinking: What’s to stop everybody from pretending to smile all the time, thereby helping one another avoid waiting for red lights to turn green? Well, you will have to ascertain the validity of each smile. I know it’s a lot of busy work, but if you are truly omnipresent, it shouldn’t be an issue. Those who deceptively smile will be brought to justice by finding themselves trailing a student driver on a two-lane street when they’re in a hurry. Or a similar horror of your choosing.
When you redesign the human race, please give consideration to my Benevolent Leapfrog Program. If a driver in the above scenario performed an unselfish “good deed” within the previous 24 hours, the person should be allowed to tap the steering wheel twice and – with your approval – fly over the intersection and gently land when it’s safe to do so. To avoid accidents, you should decide precisely where the vehicle lands.
As an alternative to performing an unselfish good deed, the driver must have made three people smile within the past 24 hours. I know what you’re thinking: What’s to stop everybody from pretending to smile all the time, thereby helping one another avoid waiting for red lights to turn green? Well, you will have to ascertain the validity of each smile. I know it’s a lot of busy work, but if you are truly omnipresent, it shouldn’t be an issue. Those who deceptively smile will be brought to justice by finding themselves trailing a student driver on a two-lane street when they’re in a hurry. Or a similar horror of your choosing.
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