If This, Then That

I don’t think humans are held fully accountable for their actions. Too often, people who behave in a rude or selfish manner emerge victorious. Their victims are left to sulk, with no recourse to complain in a meaningful or effective way. Why? Because the winners are usually stronger or more important than the lesser beings who they demean. There may be other explanations, but the point is, their actions should have consequences.

Here are a few consequences you may wish to consider for Earth 2.0:

• If you smite someone, your field would wither. No questions asked.
• If you tease someone based on their ethnicity or place of origin, your pants would mysteriously fall to your ankles the next time you’re in a crowd.
• If you have intimate relations outside the marriage – without permission from your spouse – you would age twice as fast as normal.
• If you circumvent the legal system to preserve or enhance your fortune, your children would either disown you or cause you eternal sorrow by some other means.

Give everyone a fair chance to avoid these grave consequences by revealing your intentions to a prophet disguised as a children’s author. Command the prophet-author to write a classic book that everyone will have heard or read many times before reaching puberty. Have the prophet call the book, If This, Then That.

Am I nuts? Or did I nail it?