Heel-of-Foot Marketing

Let's face it, God, direct marketing via phone calls or knocking on doors is a woefully inefficient use of our time down here. The success rate doesn't justify the effort and infrastructure necessary to convince a handful of people to do something or buy something they were not contemplating before the interruption.

You may wish to consider something along the following lines for Earth 2.0...

Instead of a ringing telephone or doorbell, the heel of a person's foot would tingle ever so slightly to indicate that someone is reaching out to them. A left-heel tingle denotes an offer to purchase a product or service, while a right-heel sensation signals a call to action, such as volunteering for a charitable or political cause (assuming we'll have misfortune or clash of wills in the future).

If you want the contents of the message revealed, simply lift up the heel and firmly depress it to the ground. A headline-style summary now appears in the brain. For argument's sake, let's say no more than eight words or 60 characters, including spaces and punctuation. If you're intrigued, a tap of the left or right temple (corresponding to the heel stimuli) will display the message on the nearest flat surface for viewing. It will include contact and ordering information. Simple. Quick. Effective. Would you agree?

What I haven't fully worked out is how the marketer would physically reach all of these heels. Plus, it seems like a huge invasion of privacy. Then again, you allow robberies and car alarms to disturb our personal space, so what's a little foot zing? I'd also like some parameters around when someone's heel should not be disturbed. This would cause loss of concentration in critical moments like running a marathon, playing piano at Carnegie Hall, enjoying a moment of intimacy, or finalizing a scientific theory like E=MC2. If you want to discuss any of these ideas, you know my phone number and address.