Complex Coupons

Must it be so complicated to buy consumer goods? This morning, an advertisement for a department store had me titillated with the promise of "50% off and more" on literally thousands of items storewide. My eyes were bulging out of their sockets when they came upon a coupon offering an extra 20% off a single sale price apparel or fine jewelry item.

My world sobered up in a hurry when I read the fine print. Said coupon was useless on Yellow Dot Clearance, Incredible Value merchandise, Bonus Buys, Door Busters and many other items -- including Breast Cancer Awareness merchandise! I put the advertisement aside and turned to a competitor's flyer, where I could get $10 off a purchase of $25 or more, provided I did not choose Everyday Values, Specials, Super Buys, selected Licensed Departments or a few dozen other categories -- including Not Your Daughter's Jeans!

After you destroy all life on our planet and give it a total makeover, I hope that saving money on consumer goods is easier than spelling Massachusetts. Wait a minute: I just thought of something. Maybe you're trying to stop us from shopping in the first place. If so, what a brilliant way of getting your point across!.